Choose the meaning of life, not the end

Choose the Meaning of Life, find you talents and potential

I chose this topic after being deeply shaken by painful and fatal decisions of people I know who ended their lives by suicide. I am a physician, associate professor, and a mindshifting (mindset transformation) mentor. I work and live in Stockholm. For over 20 years, I have worked with people suffering from autoimmune diseases, chronic pain, and have long been exploring the meaning of human life.

Why choose between extremes if we live "freely"?

The Soviet and post-Soviet generation, to which I belong, grew up longing for freedom and hoping that it would bring fulfillment and happiness. We've had independence for several decades now. But has it truly delivered what we hoped for? Have the fruits of freedom brought the happiness we, as a society and as individuals, so long pursued?

Or perhaps "freedom" has instead forced us (and maybe other democratic Western countries?) into new frames where it is forbidden—or frightening—to express our opinions, as they might offend someone, be labeled as discrimination, or reveal that "the emperor has no clothes"?

It seems that freedom has also brought a new addiction—an addiction to the idealized images of perfect people and lives portrayed on social media, which can make an ordinary person feel like a "loser," provoke social anxiety, and destroy self-confidence. I notice that many people suffer from these "new frames of freedom" or from the "paralyzing criteria of independence".

Discoveries That Changed My Life

My personal life was profoundly changed by a few events last year. One of them was a visit to the Auschwitz concentration camp memorial museum. Auschwitz is located very close to one of the most popular amusement parks for children in Poland. My then 14-year-old son, who had come to enjoy the attractions, suggested we also visit Auschwitz.

It turned out to be a fateful trip that opened my eyes. There, I discovered Viktor Frankl and his short but profoundly deep book "Man's Search for Meaning." Frankl was one of the few who survived the concentration camps and went on to live a long and meaningful life. He became the founder of logotherapy—a philosophical form of psychotherapy centered on the search for life's meaning.

Logotherapy Today

Strangely, logotherapy is still relatively unknown around the world, although its ideas could be extremely valuable in today's society. Could something that helped people survive one of the most brutal periods in human history help us today as well?

With this text, I aim to convince you that yes—it still is (and maybe always will be) relevant.

What is the meaning of life: pleasure, power, or purpose?

The ancient Romans asked for "bread and circuses." Some people interpreted independence exactly like that—as the freedom to fulfill needs and live comfortably = happily. Sigmund Freud persuaded many that the meaning of life lies in pleasure.

Alfred Adler associated life's meaning with the desire for control and power. This is clearly seen in some prominent leaders today, even in countries that call themselves democratic. For such individuals, power is more important than its consequences. And we can see how much suffering, destruction, and lost lives that can cause.

Viktor Frankl's science—logotherapy—argues that life's meaning is to find one's unique and individual purpose, that life is a process in which a person discovers a personal goal and gives life meaning by realizing their talents and potential.

When following societal standards, it may seem impossible for a unique and non-standard individual to live authentically and express themselves, which may push them toward destruction. Society's standards are neither freedom nor democracy.

Why Do Some Choose the End?

I suspect that many people who choose to end their life preterm by a suicide might never found—or never even tried to search for—the true meaning of live. They lived not according to their inborn nature, but according to the rules, expectations, or standards imposed by others. This blocked their talents and potential, and at some point, they lost hope of ever realizing themselves in this life.

How to Find the Meaning of Life?

Here's an idea I'd like to propose: a person's life meaning is the full unfolding and realization of their unique, innate abilities and talents. This is in harmony with the principles of democracy, freedom, and most importantly—evolution.

Five Core Human Natures, Possibilities, and Talents = Potentials:

• Leadership
• Creativity
• Financial prosperity, materialism
• Teaching others, being a teacher
• Professionalism in a specific field, "specialist"

These traits might overlap, but a couple of them usually dominate.

We probably know best that creative individuals tend to be different, often struggling with fitting in, searching for themselves, and trying to reshape themselves to meet others' expectations. If such people block their nature or fail to find themselves, there is a significant risk that some may choose the end rather than meaning.

Leaders are another category of people who, unfortunately, may fall into the trap of negative thoughts. These are often individuals who were not allowed to be themselves in childhood and were forced to obey parents or the system, which suppressed their leadership and made them conform. Such childhood experiences can lead to becoming a "negative leader." Life may feel even harder for a "creative leader" who has suppressed themselves, potentially leading to even deeper destruction.

Materially oriented individuals, teachers, and specialists tend to find themselves and solutions to problems more easily. They don't feel as bad or hopeless due to the pressure of conforming to parental or societal expectations. The choice of self-destruction is less of a threat for these individuals.

I recently discovered that, by nature, I am a creative-teacher-leader—and that I had spent many years suppressing these qualities. This led to wrong choices and the threat of destruction. Logotherapy and mindshifting/mindset transformation training led me to change.

If you want to discover and unfold your potential—I will be happy to share my experience—through seminars, personal consultations, or other context in which we can search for life's meaning, discover ourselves, and flourish together.

With love for humanity and life,
Vilija Oke